Coffee
by Madison Ashlee
Summary: Is Lilly really cheating on Jackson with Cooper? Will she lose Jackson forever? Read to find out. Summary sucks, but I think the story is better. Or at least I hope so.
1. Chapter 1

Jackson sat on the bathroom floor. So many thoughts flooded his brain. He looked around. He was sure he was alone. He didn't hear her voice outside the door. He didn't hear her footsteps.

He took a deep breath as he remembered the day he met her. His Lilly. They'd been together for a while now. But she'd thrown it all away for _him. _He'd seen them with his own two eyes. He'd seen them at the coffee house laughing and smiling. Probably about how stupid he'd been or how he didn't like coffee.

He was stupid to believe that she could ever love a guy like him. It hurt him to think of everything they had shared together. He had believed she was the one.

Jackson sighed as a tear fell down his cheek. He hated thinking about how beautiful she looked and how happy she had seemed with his best friend. He had tried to rationalize why they would be together sharing coffee.

Jackson hated coffee. Maybe that was the problem. Was she leaving him because he didn't like coffee? No, that could be right. Maybe it was part of it though. He wasn't mature enough for her. He wished she would have just told him. Instead of sneaking around behind his back. And with his best friend!

He closed his eyes and reached to his left. There it was; cold and hard in his grip. He could've learned to love coffee. He winced as he felt the cold metal split his skin. He could've learned to love coffee, but he would never learn to live without her. He had no desire to live without her. He watched as the blood gushed from his body to the floor. He was in pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

As his heartbeat slowed he closed his eyes. He heard footsteps and her familiar voice. But it was too late.

"Jackson doesn't suspect anything?" Cooper asked.

"Not a thing. He's really going to be surprised."

"I never thought we'd be able to pull this off. He's so nosey, but he's gonna be surprised when he walks in and sees the party we planned for him."

"I know. I can't believe we did it."

"Hey, why is the bathroom door closed?"


	2. Chapter 2

Lilly went to the bathroom door and knocked. There was no answer. Her heart leapt into her throat and she told herself to stay calm.

"Jackson! Are you in there?" she called through the door. There was still no answer. She tried the doorknob but the door was locked. "Cooper! We need to get this door open now!" she shouted, trying her hardest not to panic.

Things hadn't been the same since the accident 3 years ago that had claimed the lives of both Jackson's father and his sister, but had somehow left him unharmed. Of course, Lilly had been devastated over losing her best friend, but Jackson's feelings were far deeper. He felt guilty that he had survived. He had bouts of depression that lasted days, sometimes months. And he'd become overly paranoid.

Lilly began pounding on the door as Cooper ran to find a screwdriver. She prayed she was overreacting. She felt like every second the door stayed closed was one second closer to losing Jackson. She didn't even know if he was in the bathroom. But if he wasn't in there, who was? If anybody at all.

After what felt like forever, but was only a span of seconds, Cooper had successfully located a screwdriver and began prying the hinges off the door.

Lilly stood paralyzed with fear as Cooper worked. She was terrified what might lie on the other side of the door. Finally Cooper was able to get the hinges off and they opened the door.


	3. Chapter 3

_I just want to thank everyone for their reviews. I'm glad you like it so far. It was supposed to be just a one shot, but a couple of you asked for me to finish it, so I'm trying my best. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

The next moments were a blur. Cooper caught Lilly as her legs gave out underneath her. Somebody had called an ambulance, but neither remembered who.

The paramedics had to drag Lilly away from Jackson's lifeless body. She was screaming, but her words were jumbled and tears were streaming down her face.

Copper stood frozen in shock. He had known Jackson was depressed but he didn't think he'd go this far.

The paramedics began a futile attempt to revive Jackson. But it was clear to everyone he was long gone.

"Jackson!" Lilly screamed. "Why?" She tried to stand, but she fell to her knees. This couldn't be real. This couldn't be happening. What had she done to deserve this? First Miley had been ripped from her life and then her mother had died. And now Jackson was gone. Jackson was her world. He was her reason for living. Now she didn't know what she would do.

Lilly had loved Jackson from the moment she met him. But she'd been to shy to tell him for so long. She didn't think he could ever feel the same way. And she didn't want to risk baring her soul.

And then on her 17th birthday Jackson told her he had something for her at the beach. She hadn't thought anything was out of the ordinary. She'd known Jackson for a long time. They'd even hung out together at Hannah concerts. It wasn't odd for him to want to give her a birthday gift.

So Lilly went along with Jackson to the beach. She hadn't been expecting him to give her the best birthday present of her life. He had a picnic lunch set up for the two of them on the beach. She had been completely stunned. But what happened next left her speechless. He told her he was in love with her. That he didn't want to spend another day without her.

_"Do you think you could ever feel the same way?"_

_"I already do."_

And then he kissed her and left her breathless.

Tears rolled down Lilly's cheeks and hung on her lips. She tasted the salt as she remembered that day like it was yesterday. It had been five years ago.

And now it was all gone. She was all alone.


	4. Chapter 4

_"You kissed Jackson!" Miley shouted_

_Lilly just nodded as a blush crept across her cheeks._

_"You never even told me you liked him!"_

_"I know. I was afraid you'd get mad."_

_"Well, I don't know what you see in him, but of course I'm not mad. Jackson's a good guy and you deserve a good guy."_

_"Yeah." Lilly was blushing again. She had decided to tell Miley about the kiss on the beach and how she and Jackson were now dating. She didn't want to sneak around. But she thought Miley would be upset or think it was weird. _

_"I can't believe you like him and you didn't tell me!" _

_"I'm sorry."_

_At that moment Jackson walked through the door. "Hey Miles, Lilly." He said putting his arm around Lilly. "Were you talking about me?"_

_Lilly found herself blushing again as Miley told him that, in fact, they were._

_ "How could you not tell me you liked her?" Miley asked._

_"Well, Miles, she is your best friend. I didn't want you to tell her. If she didn't feel the same I'd still have to see her everyday."_

_Miley smiled. "Maybe I should leave you two alone." And then she disappeared up the stairs._

_"You're so beautiful." Jackson said, looking down at Lilly._

_"I can't believe this is happening!" the words escaped her lips before she could stop them._

_Jackson laughed as he led her to the couch. He sat down and pulled her next to him. _

_"I'm so in love with you, Lilly Truscott," he said kissing her again._

Lilly buried he head in her hands as she began to cry. She was trying to pull it together for Jackson's funeral. But every time she thought she might be able to hold it together, she would start thinking about the past and how it was gone and she'd never get it back. She'd gone to enough funerals in the last 3 years that she thought she should be used to them. But they were always so hard.

_"Lilly, don't cry"_

Lilly heard a voice. It sounded like Jackson. She looked around, but didn't see anyone. Great! Now she was going crazy.

Lilly went to the bathroom to fix he make up. She hated the bathroom. She tried not to think about what had happened there, but the tears began to fall again.

Then out of the corner of her eye she saw a piece of paper. She picked it up and took it to the bedroom. She knew what it was. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before. She shivered as she unfolded the paper.

Lilly took a deep breath and closed her eyes knowing these were the last words Jackson had written. His reason why. She opened her eyes and began to read.

_Lilly,_

_I'm sorry I wasn't a very good boyfriend. If you want to be with Cooper, I won't stand in your way. Just know that I've always loved you and I always will. You are my sunshine and I only want you to be happy. Please don't cry. It's better this way._

_Love,_

_Jackson_

Cooper! Jackson thought she wanted to be with Cooper! Why would he think that? She burst into tears again. She had lost Jackson for now reason at all.

"Jackson!" she called into the darkness of the room.

Lilly felt strangely guilty. She hadn't cheated on Jackson. She had just been trying to plan a surprise party. But it was because of her Jackson was gone. "I'm sorry Jackson." She whispered.

_"Lilly, don't cry."_

She jumped as she heard the voice again. She frantically looked around the room. There was no one there. As she felt a cool breeze blow over her she hugged herself tight. But oddly, she wasn't scared. She felt more at piece.

She glanced at the clock. It was time to go to the funeral.


	5. Chapter 5

_I know this one is really short, sorry. But there is more coming soon._

* * *

"Jackson was an amazing person." Lilly began. "He was the type of person who would do anything to help a friend. You knew you could always count on Jackson, no matter what. He had such a big heart."

She paused and took a deep breath, trying to keep her composure. She refused to look over at the casket. She knew she would lose it. "Jackson had a smile that could light up a room. It could melt even the coldest hearts and it was contagious. He wasn't afraid to share it with anyone. He loved to make people laugh. He was always looking to have fun. I've known Jackson for a long time, and he had grown into a wonderful man. I wish there were more people in the world like him. This world would be a better place. But he was one of a kind."

Lilly tried to keep her voice even, but failed. "He will be missed terrible by his friends and family. He was such a special person to me, as I'm sure he was to all of you. He touched so many people's lives. And he was genuine." Lilly began to sob. " He was loved by so many people. He was an amazing, son, brother, grandson, friend, and lover. I wish he were still here. But he'll always be in my heart and I hope he will remain in yours as well. Farewell Jackson Rod Stewart. You were loved and will be missed." And then she whispered, "I love you more than you will ever know."

Lilly swallowed hard and walked over to the casket. She placed a letter inside she had written inside, telling Jackson that she hadn't cheated on him. That she never would. She only loved him and nobody else.

"I love you Jackson," she whispered.

_"I love you too Lilly."_


	6. Chapter 6

Lilly looked down. She swore she had heard Jackson's voice. She half expected Jackson to be staring back at her. She was going crazy. Of course she had imagined it. Either that or somebody was playing an incredibly cruel prank.

She shook her head. She had imagined it. She just missed Jackson terribly. She wanted so badly to hear his voice that she imagined he was talking to her. It made sense. More sense than anything else lately, anyway.

"You okay, Lilly?" Oliver asked putting an arm around her.

"What do you think?" she snapped at him.

"I just mean, you looked like you were freaking out just a second ago."

"I just… I thought… never mind. You wouldn't understand. She walked away with her head down.

After the burial Lilly went home and laid down on the couch. She couldn't bear to sleep in the bedroom anymore. It was the bed she had shared with Jackson.

Lilly hated the apartment suddenly. There were too many memories. Everywhere she looked she saw his face. Lilly closed her eyes and remembered the night they had moved in.

_Jackson covered her eyes with his hands._

_"Jackson, I can't see anything," she said, not really minding because she trusted him completely. _

_"Hold on, we're almost there," he said reaching for the doorknob. He removed his hands. "Tada!"_

_"Oh, Jackson! I love it!" she said turning and jumping into his arms. _

_"Come on, let me show you around." He took her hand and led her through the apartment._

_"It's beautiful," she said wrapping her arms around his waist._

_"You're beautiful. I'm glad you like it, baby," he said enveloping her in his arms and kissing her forehead. _

_"It's perfect!" Lilly said as she leaned in to kiss his lips. She rested her head on his chest and breathed in his scent._

Tears stung Lilly's eyes as Jackson's scent filled the room. The memory was so vivid. She pulled the blanket tight around her as she felt a presence in the room with her.

"Hello?" she called into the void. There was no answer. "STOP IT!" she shouted at herself. "There's nobody here. Stop imagining things." She rolled over and fell to the floor in shock. "JACKSON!" she screamed. He was standing there in front of her.

"Shh! It's alright," the figure said.

Lilly jumped up and began to back away. She had to be imagining this. It couldn't be real.

"Lilly, baby, please don't be afraid. It's only me. I won't hurt you."

And Lilly believed him. "Jackson, why did you leave me?" she whispered.

"Lilly, I'm sorry. I thought you didn't love me anymore."

"Why would you think that? Of course I love you."

"You were sneaking off with Cooper and I thought you would rather be with him. He likes coffee."

She looked at him strangely. "Coffee?" she asked confused. "Jackson, we were trying to plan a surprise party for you."

"I know that now. I heard you and Coop talking in the living room."

"You were still alive when we came home?" Tears filled her eyes as she realized she could have saved him if she had acted quicker.

"Barely. Lilly, don't blame yourself." He said reading her thoughts. "I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain. Didn't you hear me when I said don't cry. And at the funeral when I said I loved you."

"Yes, but I thought I was imagining it."

"No, you weren't imagining it. I wanted you to know. We didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

"No we didn't." Lilly looked down at her feet. "Can't you stay here with me forever?" she asked in a small voice.

"Awe, baby. I wish I could. I'm so sorry I did this to you. I can stay for just tonight."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Jackson sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him. "Come sit down."

Lilly slowly approached him.

"Come on," he said soothingly. "It's just me."

Lilly sat down next to him full of mixed emotions. She was so glad to see him, but she didn't want to lose him again when the night was over. She felt Jackson's arms around here and she looked up and into his eyes.

"You are so beautiful, Lilly." Jackson told her.

"Why didn't you ask me what was going on"

"I was afraid to hear the truth. I didn't want to hear you say you didn't love me anymore. I saw you at the coffee house laughing and you just looked so happy."

"Jackson, we were laughing about the good times we had with you. I was never happier than when I was with you."

He squeezed her tight. "I wish I could take it back, Lilly. I really wish I could. But what's done is done. I can't take it back. I can only say I'm sorry."

"Me too, Jackson."

They sat together silently just enjoying each other until Lilly fell asleep in Jackson's arms.

Jackson kissed her forehead. "Goodbye my beautiful Lilly. I love you." He whispered and then he left.

Lilly woke up the next morning and reached for Jackson. When she realized he wasn't there she felt her heart break all over again. Last night must have been a dream. But it had felt so real.

* * *

_So, what do you guys think? I'm debating whether or not to keep going. We'll see. _


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them. Especially since I'm still new to this fan fiction thing. Guess it's obvious I decided to keep going. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as you did the others. I probably won't update again before Christmas, so in case I don't Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone. _

* * *

Lilly decided it was too painful to stay in the apartment any longer. Oliver offered her a place on his couch until she was able to find something of her own. Oliver's girlfriend wasn't thrilled, but he and Lilly had been friends forever and she needed a friend right now. He even said he'd help her pack her things. And that was what they planned to start today. 

Lilly woke up feeling nauseous. She figured it was because she dreaded going through Jackson's things. As she began to brush her hair she realized she needed to throw up. She ran for the bathroom.

"Lilly, you okay?" Oliver asked as she came out of the bathroom.

"Guess I'm just nervous," she shrugged. "Excuse me!" She turned and ran back to the bathroom.

Oliver shook his head. The girl was a bundle of nerves. Not that he blamed her. She'd been through a lot.

About an hour later Lilly had her nausea under control and she and Oliver were in her apartment. She looked around and sighed. This was going to be a hard day. She went to the bedroom first. That would be the hardest and she wanted to get it over with.

Lilly opened a drawer. Right on top was something she hadn't expected to see and grief filled her. It was a picture of her with Jackson and Miley. It had been taken the night of the accident.

_"Get a room you two!" Miley giggled as she threw a couch cushion at them._

_"We have one, it's called our apartment," Jackson said not taking his eyes off Lilly._

_"Besides, we won't see each other for __**three **__months," Lilly added._

_"You won't see me for three months either," Miley said._

_"I know! I wish my boss would let me off so I could go with you guys. Europe is so much fun. And it's so romantic," she said smiling up at Jackson and then kissing his cheek._

_"Oh brother." Miley murmured, feigning annoyance._

_"Jealous, Miles?" Jackson asked looking over at his sister._

_"Sweet niblets! When is dad supposed to be here?" Miley asked as her father walked through the door. _

_"Here I am, bud. You guys ready?"_

_"WAIT!" Lilly said. "I want to get a picture of us before you guys leave me for three months." She ran to get her camera. "Mr. Stewart, would you take it?"_

_"Sure thing, darlin'." Robbie Ray said taking the camera from her._

_Miley and Jackson enveloped Lilly in a hug and their father took the picture._

_"That's a cute picture," Miley declared. "I want a copy of that."_

_"Of course," Lilly agreed, hugging her best friend._

_"Europe won't be the same without you, Lilly." Miley lamented._

_"Have fun. Don't worry about me," she paused. "I'll just stay here…alone…all by myself…working my boring job…"_

_"Oh, sweet niblets! You're so over dramatic!" Miley laughed._

_"Bring me something good!" Lilly called as Miley left._

_On the way to the airport, the Stewart's had gotten into an accident. The paparazzi were chasing after Britney Spears when one of them ran a red light. His SUV barreled into the Stewart's car. Robbie Ray had been killed instantly._

_Jackson heard Miley call out in pain. _

_"Miles!" he shouted. He had been in the passenger seat. She was in the back seat on the driver's side. Jackson had tried to save his sister, but he was pinned under the dashboard._

_"Jackson!" she screamed in pure agony._

_Jackson managed to grab he hand. "It's okay, Miles. You're okay."_

_"Jackson, I think I'm dying." Miley sputtered._

_"No! Miley! You hang on!" Jackson shouted at her squeezing her hand._

_"I love you, Jackson." And then silence._

_"Miles! Miley! MILEY!" But there was no answer as Jackson felt Miley's hand go limp in his._

Lilly hadn't been there, but she had pictured it in her mind a million times. Tears streamed down her face as the thoughts flooded her mind again. Her last words to Miley had been "Bring me something good." She hated herself for that. That was the day her whole life had changed.

Jackson hadn't been injured. Just a few bruises and scratches. His dad and his sister hadn't been so lucky and it had really screwed Jackson up. He had relived the nightmare often. Almost every night he would dream about it and he'd wake up screaming. He would call out Miley's name in his sleep.

He'd become paranoid. He thought Lilly was going to leave him because of it. Even when she assured him she'd never leave him, no matter what.

Lilly hugged the picture to her chest.

"Lilly?" Oliver had been watching her from the doorway.

She looked over at him, tears still in her eyes. She held the picture out to him.

He walked over slowly and took it from her. He sighed as he looked at it. Then he put his arms around Lilly. "It's okay, Lilly," he told her.

She pushed him away. It wasn't okay. Didn't he understand the most important people in her life had been ripped away from her and she didn't understand what she had done to deserve it? It would never be okay.


	8. Chapter 8

_Okay, so I got some extra time to finish this up. There is one more chapter after this one._

* * *

Lilly woke up the next morning throwing up again. Oliver's girlfriend suggested she see a doctor.

"You could be pregnant," the girl told her.

Lilly had laughed it off. She wasn't pregnant. Or was she? No, that just couldn't be. She had thought she was once before. She and Jackson had freaked out because they thought they had been careful. But Jackson had been so supportive.

_"Whether you are or you aren't, we're in this together and I love you,"_ he'd said.

Lilly shivered thinking back about that. She thought Jackson would have made an amazing father. But she had thought they'd have the rest of their lives to be parents. Apparently she was wrong.

She made an appointment with the doctor, just in case. She had mixed feelings about the idea of having a child now. On one hand, she'd have a part of Jackson always. And once the baby was born she'd be too busy to be sad all the time. On the other hand, how would she raise a child all by herself?

She shook her head. She wished Jackson were here with her for the millionth time.

_"I'm always with you, baby." _

She looked around. No, Jackson wasn't there. But the sound of his voice comforted her.

"Jackson…" she began. But she felt silly talking to nothing.

"_Lilly."_

She spun around. And there he was…"Jackson!"

_"I'm here any time you need me, Lilly."_

"Jackson, I might be pregnant," she spat out.

_"I know. I'm sorry for putting you in this situation."_

"I know you didn't mean it."

_"Everything is going to be alright though."_

_"_I believe you."

"Who is she talking to?" Oliver's girlfriend asked. They'd heard Lilly in the living room and went to check it out.

"Shhh!" Oliver said. He knew Lilly was talking to Jackson. Whether she was imagining it or not, he knew it would help her through the grieving process.

_"Miley says hi," _Jackson said.

"Miley!"

_"Yeah and dad."_

"Oh. So, I guess you're happy with your family now."

_"Uh-huh. I'm glad to see them. But I still miss holding you, Lilly."_

"Maybe I should just join you guys," Lilly joked. Suddenly Jackson disappeared. "Jackson?"

"Lilly."

She jumped. "OLIVER!" she slapped his arm.

Oliver decided to interrupt when Lilly started talking about suicide. He'd lost enough of his friends already. There was no way he'd let her go through with it. And he didn't even want to hear her joke about it. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing!" Lilly stammered, her face turning bright red.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No! I've got a doctor's appointment to go to." She grabbed her purse and headed for the door. She was embarrassed Oliver had heard her. She'd only been half joking. She wanted so badly to be with her friends and family. She needed to escape so she turned on the radio.

"_Sorry."_

She heard Jackson's voice. It was coming from the radio.

_"Lilly, don't do anything stupid," _the radio told her. "_Your mom says you still have a full life to live. She doesn't want to see you again yet."_

"My mom doesn't want to see me?" Lilly asked.

"_That's not what I said," _the radio corrected, "_I said she doesn't want to see you yet. You might have a baby to raise. Come on. Lilly. You're strong. It'll be okay."_

"But I miss all of you so much."

_We're all here with you always. It's okay to let go, you know. It doesn't mean you don't love us or that you'll forget us. You can't live in the past forever, baby. You've got to move on."_

"Okay, Jackson."


	9. Chapter 9

_Okay, so this is the end. I hope you guys like the ending. And I also hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and to those who reviewed it as well. I really appreciate it. _

* * *

Lilly ran a brush through her hair and then looked in the mirror. The last 11 months had been a struggle. But she'd made it through. And now it was Christmas Eve.

She closed her eyes and thanked God she'd made it. The holidays were especially hard, but now she had Jackson Jr. to focus her attention on.

She went over to the baby's cradle and picked up her son. "Hi, J.J.," she cooed. "We're gonna go visit Daddy, Auntie Miley, and Grandma and Grandpa today." She bundled the baby up and put him in his car seat. Then they were on their way to the cemetery.

Sometimes Lilly was sad when she looked at J.J. He looked identical to his father. But mostly she was filled with awe and love for the little baby.

"You know, J.J., Daddy loved Christmas time. It was his favorite time of the year. He said it was the only time of year when adults are allowed to act like little kids." She glanced at the baby in the backseat and smiled as she pulled into the cemetery.

She took the baby out of the car and proceeded to visit each person's grave. First her mother, than Robbie Ray and Miley. And last, Jackson.

"Hi, Jackson. Look who I brought to say Merry Christmas," she said as she looked down at the ground.

"_Lilly, he's beautiful."_

Lilly was startled when she heard the voice. "Jackson?" She hadn't heard from him since the day in the car.

_"Yes, its' me," _he said.

Her eyes filled with tears as she saw him.

_"He's beautiful." _Jackson said again.

"He looks just like you."

_"I think he has his mother's lips."_

"Maybe."

_"Merry Christmas, Lilly." _Jackson said kissing her forehead and then his son's.

"Merry Christmas, Jackson. I love you."

_"I love you too, baby." _

And then he was gone, leaving Lilly standing there cradling the baby. She sighed. She would always miss Jackson. But at least she had a part of him. She looked down at the sleeping child in her arms and smiled. Jackson was right; he did have her lips.

'Well, come on, J.J. We're gonna be late for Uncle Oliver's Christmas party," she said as she put the baby in his car seat.

She hadn't seen Oliver much since J.J. was born. She'd found her own place and been extremely busy. He called to check up on her every now and again. She knocked on his door.

"Lilly!" Oliver embraced his friend and then helped her bring the baby's things inside. He admired how strong she was. "Did you go to see Jackson today?" he asked knowing she had. She'd gone on every special occasion. Her birthday (which was also their anniversary), his birthday, Easter, Thanksgiving. And each time she'd come back a wreck.

"I did."

"How are you holding up?"

"Surprisingly, I'm okay." For once Lilly didn't feel like she was going to burst into tears. Jackson had been right. She finally understood she could let him go and still love him. It didn't mean she was forgetting him and what they had. But she couldn't live in the past anymore.


End file.
